Married for 28 years

My parents seemed too old to be hosting a wedding. When I was married at 27 years old, they were both nearing the age of seventy and already had four grandchildren. Being the youngest in a family of four kids, this came with the territory. I was always aware of having “older” parents. When they came to visit me at summer camp, fellow campers ran down to the shores of Lake Champlain to notify me that my grandparents had arrived for a visit! To their credit, Mom and Dad managed to pull off this last wedding in their usual “get it done” style.

Dad took care of buying the liquor. He was generous. We are still working our way through one of the extra large bottles of vodka that he bought at Martinetti’s!

Mom made my wedding dress. From a trunk in the attic, she pulled out the Italian linen fabric with the cut lace dress pieces that had belonged to her grandmother. With her usual combination of skill and determination, Mom created a simple, elegant dress that fit me perfectly. For the final fitting, she elicited the help of Polly Parkman Lissak, her close friend from the Art Student’s League in New York City. Polly was a talented artist and seamstress in her own right. I stood still in the dress while the two old friends assessed the situation with seasoned eyes, pulling in here, letting out there, pinning and unpinning and at times laughing until tears rolled down their cheeks. They were two school girls working on a project.

We were married in the Chapel at Phillips Academy. Being married on the Andover campus just made sense. I had attended countless parents’ weekends as a kid and was even dragged along to some trustee events in my day. I was never able to consider attending PA because girls were not accepted until the year I graduated from high school.

At thirteen I was a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding in that same chapel. After the wedding, I watched sadly, as Ruth and Jim drove away in her red Volkswagon beetle, headed for the West Coast and a new life. At sixteen, I attended Andover Summer Session. I know I took a writing course, but the best part of that summer was being able to work in the art studio every day. Dripping in the summer heat, I learned how to use an etching press, and printed photos in the state of the art dark room. Assignments required me to pore over drawer after drawer of art slides to create a slide show to present to fellow students. I loved every minute.

When it came time to go home that summer, I packed up my stuff and waited in front of Stinson House for John to pick me up. Tall, thin, tan and alive, he strode up the path beaming. He had just gotten back from Viet Nam. It had been a long nine months waiting for this moment. I could finally exhale and give him a long relieved hug.

So where else would I be married, but Andover? I may not have attended the school but of all places on this earth, it can certainly be added to my short list of soul places.

So here’s to our 28th wedding anniversary on June 14, 2008. We celebrated last weekend in Stowe, Vermont where we were attending the wedding of Graeme and Kelly Saphier. Graeme’s father, Jon, had been David’s best man at our wedding. Amidst the din of the reception, in a barn looking out over the Vermont hills, David, Jon and I toasted the event 28 years ago, grateful for the coincidence of being together here so many years later.